Tuesday, 6 March 2018

Pearl of the Pacific

I gaze into unknown eyes... the eyes of a woman I have never met. It is comforting that even through an image that I can find some kind of solace and peace. I have seen many of her curves in images captured by others and it feels like a there is a dancer with flowing fabrics that appears to float and move with such grace that it fills my heart with emotions.

There is a bodyscape of a pure soul reminding me of so many wonderful places on Earth. The gradual rises and falls in the sand of the Sahara, the grace of the sheer blue ice along the ridges of Antarctica. Yet... the look I see in her eyes is lonely yet warm, loving and caring. Knowing that the close and trusted person who “introduced” us has had beneath his brush a most unique canvas... a human canvas filled with passion carefully buffered with inner pain and anguish

The mind of a passionate artist was fired up with visions of how this fellow human being should be captured in artistic imagery. Perhaps in a style never seen by anyone or yet to be discovered. Introduced for a reason, perhaps an unspoken reason between artists but one felt through energies and the currents of the universe. A connection has been made and I believe it could grow to bring a new light and creative art to the world of photographic imagery.

Should all three meet in the same plane of existence then nothing but pure magic will happen. The friendship will grow ever closer and wonder shall fill the otherwise desolate void.

(Image used with permission of the model - Photographed by:
Don Ambridge)

Monday, 9 October 2017

Is this a Gamble?

Meet Richard Gamble, he is a bit of an icon in one neighbourhood and I can see why...

 Order Two Foods (Facebook Page link at the bottom) is a small operation that serves truly amazing and freshly cooked hot dogs. The product is always fresh and it really does taste good. A variety of options and condiments make the experience just that much better.

 You will always be greeted with what I call a “down home country greeting” which is indicative of Saskatchewan. A very clean cart with classical music playing in the background makes the experience just that much better. Rumour has it that if you can identify the music playing or the composer of the piece... your hot dog is free.

 There is always a kind word from the host, and a warm greeting to all who pass. If you leave a tip they are of course welcome but I added to the pot a little and contributed to the “Pay it Forward” program so that someone in a less fortunate place in life than myself may have a better day with a free meal. I met a couple of Richard’s regulars while I was there and it was wonderful to hear the conversation build. I felt at east (not easy for me) and it was great in sharing a bit of life with two people I had never met till today.

 I have a million things to be thankful for... My life, my identity, my children and grandchildren (like 20+ descendants) my family as a whole, my extended family all of which I treasure greatly. I am thankful for my health, my work and my ability to continue my art even on a low vision day. I am thankful for Kozmo who loves me as I love him... unconditionally (even when he draws blood).

I am thankful for you, every one of you... you are part of my life in one way or another.

Peace be with you all...

Order Two Food's Facebook Page

Show them some love and support...

Sunday, 1 October 2017


Further to a Facebook post from this morning regarding the G.W.C. (Guy/Gal with Camera)...

I sat in a booth at my favourite brunch spot this morning as I do so often. Across the aisle from me was a man who looked... normal (Whatever normal is) Across from him was a young woman so at first glance it appeared that a girl was out for a meal with her Dad or something like that.

My vision isn’t top notch but my hearing is still pretty good in my left ear. As I ate my food I could hear that the man across from me was a top notch, well known photographer and the young lady was his prospective model. However... what I was hearing did not jive well at all and left me unsettled. So, as I consumed my food, I was also hearing some names and corporations being mentioned so I did a little Googling as I dined.

Nothing at all was ringing true when he claimed certain things about the corporations he was “working” for as this is simply not the way that they do business. I made a few notes and when I drank the last of my coffee I got up and went to pay for my meal. I let the server know what I was going to do and would be very discrete in my next move.

I took out my business card, went to the table and handing my card to the young lady I said hello. I indicated that I had witnessed the conversation and told the young woman that she was being lied to and it is in her best interest to leave the restaurant while she still had her integrity intact. My position blocked the man from leaving and I had advised him sit quietly and that I would not move until I was sure that his guest was safe.

I fully expect to make a report to the authorities and will gladly do so if asked. 

Sunday, 17 September 2017

Part from that which no longer serves you...

People say to separate yourselves from things and people that simply do you no good or are interfering with your life. I have been quietly doing that over that past few years. Giving away things I had in my home I had no use for, or things that I had as keepsakes from family members since passed. I have already given a few things that belonged to my Dad to my sons and have a couple of his things also set aside for my two girls which I will pass on to them.

When it comes to friends... wait, let me rephrase that. When it comes to people I know, that is a different thing. Facebook for example... If you are someone I know through my photographic work then the studio page is where to go for information, contact and that sort of thing. Just this morning I quietly removed about a dozen people from my personal Facebook page that I have either not been in contact with in some form or, have no real need to be part of my personal page. There are those that are studio related on my friends list... but they will remain as we have developed a true friendship and a close bond with each other. Either through my work or simply by being a friend.

When it comes to the modeling and photographic industry in this city, I and others have found that far too many people are taking a much more lackadaisical approach while those who are truly serious are far too busy to devote the time that they want to the work. When you have subjects who are being paid for a certain series fail to show up because they are hung-over then you know where the field has been taken over by weeds. It troubles me when I get a much better and stronger support base in a city far away than I do right at home.

I am not totally disheartened as there are some truly amazing people in this city that totally support the work I do and have always done their best to help me achieving the image I am seeking despite the chaos which is my mind. To those I give my heartfelt appreciation and love. As far as the rest of the so called models and the so called “wanna be” photographers who just bought a camera and are flooding into the area, well... your “work” as such tells the story. I have approached a few of them that seem to have promise and offered my assistance, only to be rebuked and told where to go. I have already been there twice and have no intention of ever returning.

This is my life on the prairies, a place I call home.

Thursday, 14 September 2017

The pain is real...

Scintillating rings fill my visual path, brilliant in colour like the sun reflecting off the surface of a rippled pond. Moving and bright yet I sit in the dark. There is pain this time, a pain I had not forgotten but wish I had. But... had I forgotten than I would have to relive it every time this happens and I am thankful it isn’t as much as it used to be. I wasn’t feeling well earlier today and postponed the booking I had with a feeling I knew what was developing. When I got home I did manage to take in a little food and some meds hoping to stave off what was coming.

It was too late. For several hours I sat in my recliner and fought a fruitless battle and eventually things subsided... it will be a rough few hours and it seems Kozmo knows this. He has not left my lap or my side through this war of pain. The room is notably darker so I fear that time is drawing close, an inevitability I have been waiting for. I hope that this is a small setback but with the looming clouds outside which make things difficult, I didn’t need this. Not today at least.

While I have been preparing for this for a few years, like death, when it arrives it really hurts. Emotionally and today, physically. Both attacking at once. 

 I am tired of hearing the “God has other plans” or “You are never given more than you can handle...”  as much as I am tired of hearing that there is someone out there for you. Well... I got nailed with an idiopathic disease that is stealing away something very precious to me and there are those out there along with my trans status that really just can’t handle it or have no clue what to do. Fine... I get it. I will not be a burden on anyone, I have prepared myself for this and am ready. I will go it alone and while I know I have family and friends there that will lend a hand, It would be nice to listen to someone breathe as they sleep peacefully next to me.

Be blessed, be well and above all, be good to one another of just simply go away. 

Thursday, 24 August 2017

Where is all the love?

Passionate connections are real...

I see many people together enjoying the company of each other. Those who are lovers act differently then those who are just friends. It is remarkable the difference after all. But, anyway. I love it when people are in love... seeing that embrace regardless of who is about, a kiss on the street corner while waiting for the light to change, the bride looking at her groom with a sparkle in her eye, and seeing the emotion in his eyes as he gives himself to her.

Truly amazing when two people fall in love with each other and how unfortunate when they fall out of love or do something selfish and mess it all up. I have seen that too and it is not at all pleasant. I do hope for their sakes that it is resolved before it becomes so injurious that no one will recover.

I had a wonderful meal and a visit with a dear friend this evening. Neither of us is afraid of speaking our minds and sharing innuendos in such a way it could be teasing but it is more in jest and will always illicit a laugh or smile. It was good to see her and we always seem to keep in touch somehow and also seem to go out for supper together every month or so. I hugged her when she dropped me off and it was a hug of true friendship, one of trust. These are the hugs that mean the most to me and only a few of my friends will let it linger for the extra seconds it takes to calm my soul.

Tuesday, 22 August 2017

How could you...?

I don’t get to my blog as often as I like but... once in awhile it becomes necessary. There was a time when I made almost a daily entry but I also have a life to live, and live it I shall. I am content with my life as it is and of course I do yearn for some things but... if they never come I will get over it. I do hope to travel around the province a bit and maybe the country but it all depends on the usual things.
The ocean beckons more often than not...
 In the past couple of months I have been to the west coast to dip my feet into the Pacific and a cool weekend trip with Stevie to Regina to shoot, check out the Science Centre and see a movie on the Imax. This was a first for Stevie and I like giving people I care about those “firsts”. It was a great weekend. Of course I took off for the family getaway in Leoville as it has been a tradition for 10 years now and it simply must carry on as I am sure it will. I also had an opportunity to visit a place I have never been
My spiritual advisor. 💗

 I had taken on the responsibility to capture the events of a wedding of a young woman that I have known for several years. Arriving in Kinistino was quite a fun moment. I traveled with Sharlene who “officiated” over the ceremony and met a lot of wonderful people. The wedding and reception itself took place on a farm north of Weldon and it was great. I had the warmest opportunity and shared a moment of emotional release when I hugged Laurel again after many years. It was such an uplifting moment and made the trip even more worthwhile.

Anyway... I see Emerald and Jordan together and I was honoured to be there with them. Then I think back to other couples I know and begin to wonder what keeps them together. I will explain: I have known Miss X for a few years, care about her and also understand her lifestyle and certain preferences. We have spoken and shared candidly about our feelings and emotions so I consider her a friend soul-mate. I feel there is nothing we can’t discuss and if we do, then there is no judgement between us. Only forgiveness.

So, it pains me a great deal when I find out that her partner is sending suggestive photographs to women in order to “lure” them into something. Nothing illegal, but, certainly not within the moral standards of most people. Sure, this could be permissible within their relationship but not when you send a dick pic to another person who is unsuspecting and in their own loving relationship with another. Then to deny it later via text message. My God, what the hell are you thinking and really... how can you be so cruel to the woman you claim you love.

The Glory shines all around us...

In the past I had my moments of stupid behavior but I see how it effects people around me and I see what happens when someone is naïve and totally doesn’t see her partner behaving in such a callous way. I know how it can happen, but not why. I just feel lost for her and what is going on... but I will also keep my nose out of it as in the end it is not my business.

I will be back a lot sooner than 4 something months. In the meantime I pray for my son who is struggling with a nasty disease and I pray for my friend and her partner that he becomes the man she thinks he is.

Be well, and be good to each other...